Updating Wall Street Cliches

Pundits are notorious for using phrases and cliches that make them sound intelligent but don’t really tell you anything. Many of these cliches have been used for decades now so I thought it was time for some updates to reflect the sentiment during the latest cycle.

For example, ‘It’s a stock-picker’s market’ can now be updated into ‘It’s an ETF-picker’s market.’

Here are some more:

Original: There are more buyers than sellers.
Updated: There are more passive investors than sellers.

Original: I’m cautiously optimistic.
Updated: I’m recklessly pessimistic.

Original: Stocks take the stairs up and the elevator down.
Updated: V-shaped recoveries take the elevator down and the elevator up.

Original: Buy when there’s blood in the streets.
Updated: BTFD.

Original: Stocks fall on profit-taking.
Updated: Stocks fall as the world is about to end.

Original: Stocks rise on bargain-hunters.
Updated: Stocks rise on dead cat bounce.

Original: Don’t chase yield.
Updated: Don’t chase negative yields.

Original: The easy money has been made.
Updated: The easy money was painful at the time.

Original: I’m constructive on the stock market.
Updated: I’m constructive on the next Black Swan.

Original: Sell in May and go away.
Updated: Sell in 2011 and complain about the Fed.

Original: Cash on the sidelines.
Updated: Negative-yielding bonds on the sidelines.

Original: It’s not a stock market; it’s a market of stocks.
Updated: It’s not a stock market; it’s a market of ETFs and index funds.

Original: Don’t fight the Fed.
Updated: Ok, this one is still don’t fight the Fed.

Original: The trend is your friend.
Updated: The short squeeze is your trend.

Original: Buy the rumor, sell the news.
Updated: Buy the insider trading, sell the Tweet.

Original: Never catch a falling knife.
Updated: Never follow Ackman to short Herbalife.

Original: The four most dangerous word in investing are this time is different.
Updated: The four most dangerous words in investing are Gartman is getting bullish.

Original: Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.
Updated: No one has a plan that relies on motivational quotes.

Original: Stocks climb a wall of worry.
Updated: Stocks climb a wall of Fed manipulation.

Original: No one ever went broke taking profits.
Updated: Everyone went broke listening to Zero Hedge.